Thursday, October 16, 2008

Michigan Football and the 2008 Election

I got to ponderin' this morning, and I came up with an infallible and irrefutable theory. I decided that your opinion on the fortunes of Michigan football probably mirrors your opinions on the upcoming presidential election. Here is how I see it:

1. The Future is Bright
This is the group of Michigan fans that, despite their struggles so far this year, believes that the Rich Rodriguez hiring was the right one and the program will flourish under the new coach. Essentially, these are the hopeful optimists who are confident that the spread offense is the offense that will take us into the next great era of Michigan football. These people have observed how the game has changed, and how "three-yards-and-a-cloud-of-dust" just doesn't cut it anymore. The traditionalists think that these people are naive idiots, and that we are being led down a path to ultimate destruction - as if not making a bowl game one year is some sort of apocalyptic event.

This group consists mainly of Obama supporters. Supporters of Obama are more prone to embrace change, and are tired of the "same-old same-old" of tired Bush policies that McCain offers. But the supporters of Obama don't just want change for change's sake. They truly believe that Obama is a leader who can take us thru the current turbulent economic times and rid ourselves of the Iraq war anchor that is hanging around our neck. Traditionalists think that these people are naive idiots and that Obama is all flash and no substance, and that he's a Muslim pinko terrorist sympathizer - as if talking to world leaders we don't agree with is some sort of traitorous betrayal to freedom loving patriots everywhere.

2. Oh My God, What Have We Done
This is the group of Michigan fans that wanted Michigan to hire a coach with a more "traditional" offensive philosophy; i.e., more like Lloyd and Bo. This group would probably include the guys who already have started the Fire Rich Rodriguez website. There is panic in the air. These guys want to dump Rodriguez now and think that we can still get Les Miles, despite the fact that he already had a chance to come here if he really wanted to, and chose not to. These are also probably the people who are floating the rumor that Rich Rod is talking to Clemson about their head coaching position. They point to all the perceived mistakes and shortcomings of the coach - he can't recruit like Lloyd, he talks to the media more than Lloyd, his offensive system has failed to adapt to the existing talent, etc. They think that Kirk Ferentz is a "maverick." The people from group (1) above think that these people are stodgy old out-of-touch buzzkills, and that hiring a coach with a more "Lloyd-like" offense would have been a huge mistake.

This group consists mainly of McCain supporters who are reluctant to embrace change and feel that the war is a good idea and is totally justified in the age of global terrorism. These people believe that leaving Iraq before being able to declare some sort of "victory" is tantamount to surrender. These people are also convinced that in these troubled and turbulent economic times, they want a president who won't do anything different than the previous administration. Change is something these people can't handle. They think that John McCain is a "maverick." The people from group (1) above think that McCain is a stodgy old out-of-touch rich man, and that electing someone who would perpetuate Bush's failed policies would be a huge mistake.

3. Oh My God, This is Horrible - But I'm Hopeful...
This is the group of Michigan fans that is taking the "wait-and-see" approach to the new coach. They can see how we needed to modernize the offense, bring the conditioning program into the 21st century, and get some new blood in the program. On the other hand, they are also leery of outsiders, and wonder why we couldn't have hired a "Michigan man" instead of some guy from West Virginia. These people are straddling the line on RichRod, and are ready to jump to either side if something happens. Win over PSU this weekend - "I'm starting to warm up to this guy." Loss to Minnesota later in the year - "I'm not so sure about this coach." The people from groups (1) and (2) think these guys are mamby-pamby dispassionate non-fans who can't make up their minds.

This group consists of the "undecided" voters. I'm not sure what these people are waiting for. They can see both sides on every issue, and have some opinions in common with each candidate - "I like Obama's plan to get out of Iraq, but I'm pro-life." You've got 19 days left - make up your mind. They watch the debates trying to find something to cling to, and read all the spam e-mails that falsely claim that Obama is a Muslim and McCain has cancer and is about to die. The people from groups (1) and (2) think these people are mamby-pamby dispassionate boneheads who can't make up their minds.

So, there you have it. Where do you fall in the spectrum? If you're a Michigan fan, please weigh in. I'm a man of science. I want to attempt to prove or disprove my theory. From this post and previous posts, I'm sure you can guess into which group I fall...

1 comment:

gillberk said...

Michigan Football is on the decline fast. They are about to head into the lower depths of the Big Ten Conference. The bottom of the Big Ten is usually reserved for Minnesota, Indiana, Northwestern, and until recently Illinois. The fact that Michigan is even in the discussion is appalling. This Rich Rodriguez character is nothing more than a fly by night snake oil salesman and Mary Sue Coleman bought his smack hook-line-sinker.

michigan drug rehab