Friday, November 21, 2008

Seinfeld Band Names

Unlike most years, when the Michigan-Ohio State game would be the focus of a post on the Friday before the game, I have instead chosen to take my mind off what will probably be an ugly blowout. Instead of football, to take your mind off the impending disastrous 33-6 shellacking, how about some Seinfeld and music?

My wife and I were having a conversation a couple weeks ago about a band that named itself after something from a Seinfeld episode. The name of the band: Jerkstore. Brilliant. They're apparently a heavy metal (or "nu metal," whatever that is) band. Anyway, I thought this would make a great blog topic. So if you are a band in search of a good pop culture name that will catch the attention of potential fans, here are some ideas for "Band Names Derived from Seinfeld Episodes."

1. Mulva
This would have to be some sort of hard rock girl band - think Sleater-Kinney or Hole. Band members could even take on aliases like Delores, Bovary, Celeste, and Regina.

2. The Van Buren Boys
I think this would have to be a progressive bluegrass combo. They would be very popular at summer festivals and in small clubs throughout the country - think Leftover Salmon, Yonder Mountain String Band, or The Gourds. Instead of flashing the peace sign or the heavy metal "devil horns" sign, fans of the band would show eight fingers during the twelve minute mandolin and fiddle solos.

3. The Re-Gifters
I think these guys would have to be a cover band, perhaps playing covers of contemporary homogeneous pop noise like Nickelback, Daughtry, and Creed. They're probably playing at a bar near you this weekend.

4. Poison Envelopes
This band would have to be emo or goth. They wear black clothing, black eyeliner, their instruments are black, and their music is completely depressing. Their fans cut themselves or burn themselves with cigarettes and read Sylvia Plath and the Anarchists Cookbook for fun.

5. Izzy and The Mandelbaums
This would have to be a klezmer band. They play bar mitzvahs, Jewish weddings, and they'll even play at your son's bris. Their hit song would have to be titled "You Think You're Better Than Me?" Which brings us to our next band name...

6. Shakey the Mohel
Punk rock. Loud. Think Sex Pistols - only more Jewish. The sight of Hasidim slamming in the mosh pit is something to behold. Beards, hats, and sideburns would be flying everywhere.

7. Spongeworthy
This would have to be kind of a novelty jam band. Maybe kinda like Ween or Phish. Lots of good jamming, but with some quirky lyrics. Fans would be called "Spongeheads" and might even fashion some hats out of sponges, kinda like Green Bay Packer fans with their cheese heads. Oh yeah, and they smoke a lot of weed.

Any more suggestions?


Rachel said...

I wanted to start a metal band called "I'm Blaming Lupe." And the first song would be called "Swish Them and Swirl Them"

scrdoanls said...

How could you leave off your namesake band "Assman" or the Cuban inspired quartet "Del Boca Vista"? And what about "Mimbo", "Man Hands", "Shrinkage" or "Master of My Domain"?.

Assman said...

Very nice suggestions scrodnals...

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