Tom Brady's Injury

Tom Brady's fake injury stunt has left me wanting more. A fake ankle injury? Why stop there? Why not be seen in public every day from now until the Super Bowl with a different fake injury, with the injury getting progressively worse each day? Starting tomorrow, here are my suggestions:

• Thursday, Jan. 24 - a band-aid on his chin


• Friday, Jan 25 - an eye patch





• Saturday, Jan. 26 - a wrist brace on his non-throwing hand


• Sunday, Jan 27 - a big obvious knee brace over the pants


• Monday, Jan 28 - a white gauze bandage around his entire head, with a bloody spot near one temple


• Tuesday, Jan 29 - his throwing arm in a sling


• Wednesday, Jan 30 - a vestigial parasitic twin attached to the side of his head




• Thursday, Jan 31 - a fake spear thru his chest


• Friday, Feb. 1 - neck brace with halo





• Saturday, Feb. 2 - undisclosed injury, being pushed around in wheelchair by cranky uncooperative nurse (think Nurse Ratched without the compassion) to fend off aggressive photogs

I think this would be a great way to ease the tension before the big game and break up the tedium of the two week layoff. Plus, it would be hilarious. Please leave your own suggestions in the comments.

Super Bowl

I had a couple thoughts when I saw this photo on espn.com this morning:

• First of all, the walking boot he's wearing on his right foot is all part of Belichick's plan. He's not hurt, but the coach is playing with the Giants' heads. You think it's a coincidence that this photo was snapped in NYC?
• That small bouquet of flowers is the best you can do on a $8 million salary? For your supermodel girlfriend? Really? She is accustomed to flying all over the world to exotic locations for glamorous photo shoots and this little $25 bouquet is all you got? If he wants to make good use of the two weeks before the Super Bowl, he really should start it off with a little more flash and pizazz. For his sake, I'm hoping that the bag in his right hand contains some more interesting - no, make that mind-blowing - items, and that he does not leave Gisele's apartment until early next week. Contrary to popular belief, laughter is not in fact the best medicine. Sex with a supermodel is the best medicine. I think I read that somewhere.