This Day In History - Rod Beck

Sorry to dwell on death, but today marks the first anniversary of the death of baseball pitcher Rod Beck. Beck was a good relief pitcher for four different major league teams - the Giants, the Cubs, the Red Sox, and the Padres. He died at the age of 38, and the cause of death was not disclosed (although cocaine was found in his home after his death). He was always a bit of an oddball, and looked very intimidating on the mound, mainly due to his considerable girth, his intense scowl, his badass fun manchu mustache, and his professionally sculpted mullett. Ironically, he cemented his legendary status not as a major leaguer, but during a stint in the minor leagues. While pitching for the Cubs minor league affiliate in Des Moines, Beck lived in an RV behind the team's stadium and always welcomed fans in for a cold beer, to use his restroom, and just to talk baseball. He had a neon blue martini-glass-shaped light in the window of his camper. The rule was: if it's on, the bar's open. And it was always on.

Another American original, taken before his time. There's no one left in the league like him anymore. Rod, the light is on for you and George Carlin tonight. When you see George stroll by your camper, invite him in for a cold one.

Lance Berkman - Caliente

Lance Berkman, switch-hitting first baseman for the Houston Astros, has been one of my favorite baseball players since his early days with the team when I lived in Houston back in the 90s. He's slightly chubby, not very fast, and has a great sense of humor - kinda like John Kruk, except with more power, without the mullett, and with both testicles intact. And he's on a hot streak. And not just any normal hot streak. He has a 14-game hitting streak, and he's produced numbers you might see in a slow-pitch softball league. During this streak (started April 30), he has:

- a .537 batting average (29-for-54), OBP .613
- 7 HR, 21 RBI, 7 doubles, 9 walks
- struck out only 5 times
- increased his batting average from .297 to .391
- increased is OBP from .387 to .472
- had hits in 8 consecutive at-bats

And the most important stat of all - the Astros are 11-3 during the streak, vaulting themselves into early contention in the NL Central, despite having mediocre pitching. I had originally written this yesterday, and I had to revise it because his performance yesterday afternoon added some luster to his already great streak. How hot is Berkman? He went 2-for-4 yesterday, and his average during the streak actually went down. He drove in three runs, and he hit a solo home run in the ninth to break a 7-7 tie and the Astros came back from a 7-3 deficit to win 8-7.

Here are a couple nice quotes that give an idea of Lance's personality:

"In Baltimore last year I forgot how many outs there were and ran off the field. I got to the line, and I was like, Oh, my gosh, nobody's running off (the field). I immediately went to the fake knee injury. The trainer came running out and was like, 'Are you O.K.?' And I said, 'Yeah, I just forgot how many outs there were.' That was right after I came back from my knee surgery so I had a built in excuse."
- Sports Illustrated, April 4, 2006

"I'm as low-maintenance a hitter as there probably is," Berkman said. "I never watch video anyway. I just go out there, take my round of batting practice and play the game. Especially when things are going well, you don't want to tinker too much."

Lance Berkman es muy caliente!

* If the Tigers ever get hot, I'd love to write something about them. Until then, all aboard the Berkman express...

ADDED: I just looked up the record for most hits in a month. The record is 67. That is completely insane. He's got a couple weeks left, but he'll have to pick up the pace to match it. He's got 28 in 13 games in May.

Kansas and Other Dramatic Finishes

Well, as everyone probably knows by now, the Kansas Jayhawks won the NCAA men's basketball championship last night in dramatic fashion. Mario Chalmers hit a game tying 3-pointer with 2 seconds left in regulation to send the game to overtime, where Kansas proceeded to dominate Memphis and win by seven. But that was not the only drama last night. I'm not sure if this was a normal night for baseball, but in addition to the Kansas last second shot, there were several late inning heroics in MLB last night too:

1. The Angels beat the Indians with a walkoff grand slam in the bottom of the ninth inning by Torii Hunter.
2. The Astros beat the Cardinals with a walkoff two-run homer in the bottom of the ninth inning by Miguel Tejada.
3. The Rockies beat the Braves with a two-run homer in the bottom of the eighth inning by Matt Holliday.
4. The Orioles beat the Mariners with a solo homer in the bottom of the eighth inning by Aubrey Huff.

That seems pretty unusual to me - four games that were won with home runs in the home team's last at bat. I'm too lazy to do the research. Can anyone tell me if this is something that happens frequently? Anyone?

Detroit Tigers

The Detroit Tigers are, to put it mildly, off to a bit of a rocky start this season. After every publication and blog on the planet picked the Tigers to make the playoffs, they have proceeded to start the year by throwing up all over their shiny new baseball cleats with six consecutive losses. Sure, it sucks, but is it a big deal? Last year, the World Champion Red Sox had a stretch where the lost 6 of 7, and another where they lost 5 of 6. The point is, teams have bad stretches. The Tigers' bad stretch just happens to be at the start of the season. The most notable things about their horrendous start so far:

• Other than Clete Thomas (who?), Carlos Guillen, and Brandon Inge, no one is hitting the ball. Through six games, the Tigers have scored 15 runs. I'm no math whiz, but I think that works out to 2.5 runs per game. That's Twins-level of hitting suckitude. People were talking about the Tigers being a lock to score a thousand runs this year. It wouldn't be so bad, but...


• The pitching has been horrible. The team ERA is 5.30. They've gotten one quality start. The pitchers have walked 27 batters and struck out 35. Not a good ratio. The only mitigating factor in all this is...


• Injuries. Curtis Granderson has yet to suit up, and CF has been manned by Thomas and Inge. They've both played well, but Granderson is an all-star caliber player, and he is undoubtedly missed. Sheffield's osteoporosis already forced him to miss a couple games. Cabrera has missed two starts. They were already missing Zumaya and Rodney from the pitching staff.


• Tigers were swept twice at home. Now they have to go to Boston to play at Fenway, in their home opener after what will probably be an inspiring tribute to last year's World Series championship team.

Now, the good news:

• The x-ray of Granderson's broken hand on Sunday was positive, and he was cleared to resume baseball activities. There is no timetable for his return, but he'll start throwing and hitting as soon as he can make throws and grip the bat without discomfort.


• The aforementioned game with the Red Sox will be started by Kenny Rogers, who might be perfect for this game, because the Sox hitters might be so jacked up after their pre-game festivities that they forget that The Gambler throws 55 mph curveballs. Their excess adrenaline might not serve them well here. Of course, I'm just grasping at straws here in trying to find a positive spin for their trip to Boston, so forgive my blind optimism for tomorrow night's game.

The way I see it, as long as their major players stay healthy most of the year, they'll break out of this funk: i.e., Polanco won't be hitting .087 for long (his career average is .304); Cabrera won't be stuck with 1 RBI for much longer. And it will probably happen sooner than later. You really need about a quarter of the season to have a good idea what kind of team you're going to be (remember 35-5 in 1984?). After 40 games, the Tigers should have at least 21 or 22 wins, and be within a game or two of first place. If not, it will most likely be because of lack of pitching, not lack of hitting. Leyland is not afraid to change things up if they're not working. If Inge keeps hitting, Leyland won't hesitate to use him at just about any position on the field. I think the Kitties are probably glad they decided not to trade him this offseason. If not for Inge's extreme manliness, they'd be even more winless than they are now.

Bless You Boys...

More on the Tigers (and horrible columnist Lynn Henning), from firejoemorgan.com.

Athletes as Actors, part 3: Major League Baseball

Click here for part 1.
Click here for part 2.

Athletes want to be actors, and actors want to be athletes. Baseball players, because of their relatively normal physical stature, are more suitable for a wider variety of roles than, say, a 7-foot-tall freak of nature. That's not to say that they actually get a wider variety of roles. Here are some of the most notable (not necessarily the best) professional baseball players who tried their hand at acting:

Chuck Connors
Wow - the things you learn when you are researching a li'l ole blog post. Without turning this into a "Chuck Connor Biography" post, here are some highlights: after being discharged from the army in 1946, Connors played center (he's only 6'-5" tall) for the Boston Celtics in the 1946-47 season, but left early to go to spring training with the Brooklyn Dodgers. After knocking around in the minors for a couple years, he made it to the bigs in 1949. After 5 weeks and one at-bat, he was sent back down to the minors. He played again in the majors in 1951, where he hit a couple homers for the Cubs. When he was sent down to the Cubs minor league affiliate, the LA Angels, he was noticed by a fan who was also a casting director. His focus turned to acting and he appeared in dozens of movies and TV shows. He's most well known as the star of "The Rifleman," which ran on TV from 1958-1963. Also appeared in Fantasy Island, The Love Boat, and Soylent Green.

Soldier. Basketball player. Baseball player. Badass Rifleman. Nice little career, Mr. Connors. Kudos.

Keith Hernandez
Due to its New York setting, Seinfeld very frequently featured NY baseball players in the show. Some of the players featured included Danny Tartabull, Paul O'Neill ("You promised a kid in the hospital that I'd hit two home runs?"), Bernie Williams ("are you the guy put us in that Ramada in Milwaukee?"), and Derek Jeter. But no NY athlete had a more memorable appearance on Seinfeld than former Mets first baseman Keith Hernandez. After meeting Jerry in the health club locker room, he asks Jerry to help him move ("Help him move? You just met the guy!"). Hernandez is not exactly deserving of an Emmy for his performance, but the episode he appeared in ("The Boyfriend") was great, in part due to his portrayal of himself.

Best line: "I'm Keith Hernandez."

Wade Boggs
This former Red Sox/Yankees Hall-of-Famer also played himself, in an episode of Cheers where he gets pantsed by the gang at the bar. Nothing more than a cameo, but it was memorable for me because I was a big fan of Cheers back in the day.

Best line: "But I AM Wade Boggs!"

Jim Lefebvre
The former major league player and manager had a couple notable roles in the 60s. He appeared on Batman as one of The Riddler's henchmen in two different episodes (and was the victim of several "whams," "pows," and "kerblams" from Batman and Robin), and he appeared on Gilligan's Island as a "native" in the episode where the natives think Gilligan is a god. Also, in the 80s, he had minor parts on St. Elsewhere, Alice, and M*A*S*H.

Best line: "pulu si bagumba"

Bob Uecker
Uecker was the star of Mr. Belvedere, which ran from 1985 to 1990. He even hosted SNL. Not bad for a lousy backup catcher with a .200 lifetime batting average. He didn't win any awards, but his show was on for a long time. He also played the announcer in Major League and its sequels.

Most famous line: "Juuuuust a bit outside."

The Simpsons
On the Simpsons episode entitled "Homer at The Bat," C. Montgomery Burns stacks his softball team with a bunch of ringers from the major leagues in order to win a bet with the owner of the Shelbyville nuclear power plant. While technically I'm not sure you could consider this acting, all of the following players lent their voices to this episode: Ken Griffey Jr., Don Mattingly, Jose Canseco, Darryl Strawberry, Roger Clemens, Mike Scioscia, Steve Sax, Ozzie Smith, and Wade Boggs (Burns originally wanted Honus Wagner, Cap Anson, and Three-Finger Brown). All of the players eventually get hurt in various ways except Strawberry, who of course plays the same position as Homer. Homer ends up driving in the winning run with a ninth inning bases-loaded "hit-by-pitch." In the DVD release of the season, the director's commentary notes that all of the players were great to work with except one who they won't name except his name rhymes with Manseco. Canseco was originally slated to have an extramarital affair with Edna Krabappel, Bart's teacher, but Canseco's then-wife objected.

Best line: Homer - "No matter how good you are at something, there's always about a million people better than you."

Don Drysdale
The former dodger hall-of-fame pitcher, who was also a star basketball player at UCLA, appeared on several TV shows in the 60s and 70s. His credits include appearances on The Brady Bunch, Leave It To Beaver, and The Rifleman. Mostly, he played either baseball players or announcers.

Best line: "Greg, you suck. There is no way you can be a major league pitcher. Give it up already."

In summary, like basketball players, baseball players mostly portray themselves or "baseball players" or announcers. Very few have broken out of that mold. It's probably because most baseball players are kinda dumb. Not that it takes a brain surgeon to play baseball, but they do have to memorize lines and where to stand - which requires, you know, thinking.

I know I must have missed some. Send me your suggestions in the comments. I think I'll tackle part 4 (other sports - golf, boxing, hockey, cricket, badminton, soccer, etc.) next week.

A Modest Proposal: Amnesty

I'm already tired of hearing about Roger Clemens and whether he did or did not take steroids or HGH. Same goes for Barry Bonds. I don't really care anymore. All the other baseball players who have either been caught with a drug test, or admitted to having used them, have inexplicably made the self-agrandizing Jose Canseco the most credible person in this whole saga. In the interests of Major League Baseball, of which I would consider myself a fan, I have a proposal to make this all go away, and it can be summed up in one word: Amnesty. Forgive me if you've heard this somewhere else, but I honestly haven't so don't go accusing me of plagiarism. Here is my plan:

• For all players who have been caught with MLB drug testing, continue to hand out fines and/or suspensions.


• For all players who have admitted to using (Andy Pettitte, Brian Roberts, etc) , but have not been caught with a drug test, hand out similar, but perhaps less severe fines/suspensions.


• For all other players who have been accused in the Mitchell report, or have been alleged to have used PEDs by someone credible, but have not been proven to have used or admitted anything, give full amnesty. For retired players, fuhgetaboutit.


• For all players, from this point forward, institute a stricter drug testing program that detects steroids, HGH, horse tranquilizers, fish paralyzers, etc. Test randomly, and hire an outside entity (whoever the Olympics uses) because it's obvious that MLB cannot police themselves. Make suspensions for PEDs more severe. Allow contracts to include out clauses for positive tests: i.e., if Joe Shortstop gets caught X number of times, the team has a right to void his contract.

If this path is followed, it will help everyone let go of the past and move on. You can't take away records, you can't take away stats. It's becoming increasingly apparent that many players were using PEDs, so there is no way to tell which records are good and which aren't. How many of Barry Bonds' HRs came against pitchers that were also juicing? How many of Clemens' strikeouts were of juiced hitters? How many team victories were aided by steroids-using players? We'll never know. This era (the last 10 years or so) will forever be tainted as "The Steroid Era," but so what? Everyone knows players were juicing, and their legacies will be tarnished because of it. But continuing to investigate past transgressions will only serve to take the focus off the game itself. In a way, continuing to focus on the past is burying your head in the sand about the present and future. Instead of burying their heads, MLB should just bury the past. Let's allow congress get back to what they do best: soliciting sex from random strangers in airport bathrooms, driving drunk, breaking campaign promises, and screwing interns.