Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Super Bowl - Fun with Photos

Okay, it's more "fun with photos." These are all "official" team photos. They are from the website. I looked thru the photos of all the players on both Super Bowl teams, and found the most interesting ones. So, without further ado, here are my snide remarks about the more remarkable photos:

Smallest head - Dominic Hixon (WR - Giants)
Do they have helmets that small, or do they have to order special.

QB Who Looks Most Like a Lineman - Jared Lorenzen (QB - Giants)
Do they have helmets that big or do they have to order special? He reminds me of David Putty from Seinfeld. "Gotta support the team."

Looks most like a hipster - Kawika Mitchell (LB - Giants)
He looks like he should be ironically drinking a Pabst Blue Ribbon while ironically wearing a Members Only jacket while ironically listening to Hall & Oates and talking about how ironically awesome that "Walker: Texas Ranger" is. Unironically, he's probably a douchebag.

Dreads - Lawrence Maroney (RB), Brandon Meriweather (S), Asante Samuel (CB), Donte Stallworth (WR)
Get up stand up, stand up for your rights. I can only guess that Tom Coughlin does not allow dreads on his players, as all the Giants seem to be neatly shorn.

Looks Like He Just Woke Up - Nick Kaczur (OL - Pats)
"Dude, where's my car? Whaddaya mean, today's picture day?"

Most Pissed Off - Kevin Dockery (CB - Giants), Vince Wilfork (DL - Pats)
I don't want to piss them off more. Let's just say they look mad and move on...

Best Grill - Mike Jennings (WR - Giants)
"Rollin down the street, smokin' indo, sippin on Gin and Juice, laid back - with my mind on my money and my money on my mind."

Gayest Photo - Michael Strahan - (DL - Giants)
Look at that pose. it reminds me of the photo that Deb took of Uncle Rico in Napoleon Dynamite. All the other photos are straight on, look at the camera type photos, but Strahan decided to gay his up a bit. "Okay, now tilt your head a bit - perfect."

Crookedest Head - David Thomas (TE - Pats)
What the hell happened to this guy? His eyes are crooked, his head is assymetrical, his mouth is off-center. What a mess.

Happiest to Be Here - Larry Izzo (LB - Pats)
"Woo-hoo, when does practice start? You guys wanna go out later? Can I have a ride? Okay then, I'll meet you there? Hey, where are you guys going? Wait up!"

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