Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Signing Day - Terrelle Pryor

Apparently Terrelle Pryor, the consensus top high school player in the nation, is not going to announce where he will enroll in school play football in 2008. So here are the top seven reasons Terrelle Pryor is delaying his final decision on choice of schools:

7. Waiting until the springtime, where he can get a better look at campus coeds in skimpier outfits.

6. Trying to convince Rodriguez and Tressel to have a steel cage death match to settle it. If they both die, Paterno wins.

5. Does not feel loved enough yet. Waiting for more national press coverage.

4. Enticed by a promise of a Hummer from anonymous PSU booster. Due to the ambiguous nature of this promise, he wants to see which kind of hummer he'll actually get (and from whom) when he takes his visit to Penn State.

3. Wants to play basketball too, but he heard that Michigan and Penn State do not have basketball teams. Was rumored to have attended a Michigan basketball game on his visit to Ann Arbor, but spent the entire game sending text messages to PSU and OSU coaching staffs. Thought he was at a high school game.

2. He's holding out for a big party suite like Thornton Melon created in "Back to School."

1. He is busy traveling into his possible futures, George Bailey style, to gauge his prospects at each school. Coincidentally, the future with each team includes a couple 10-3 seasons, a knee injury, a nasty case of herpes, and a early departure for the NFL. Oddly, each team's future without him is the same as it is with him.

Just make up your mind Terrelle! I have one piece of advice for you (because I'm certain he's reading this): Go Blue!

As always, leave your suggestions in the comments...


lawman said...

He likes himself just alittle too much. you can have him. An example of how to live in the "me" generation.

prince j said...

If the kid has this much trouble deciding between three or four very good options, what is he gonna do when the hotties on campus thrown themselves at him? He needs to turn his Voyager V-Cast phone off, sit his butt down, and make a decision. Listening to more people make more and more promises to him is pointless. Grow some stones and make a decision Terrelle, whichever!