Okay, it's time for another goofy gimmick. I previously had compared Big Ten football teams to characters from "The Office." This time, it's Big Ten football teams and Grateful Dead songs. The pertinent lyrics from each song are quoted in italics.
Illinois - It Must Have Been The Roses
"I don't know, it must have been the roses"
The Illini made it to the Rose Bowl for the first time in a while, but performed poorly. Maybe it was the roses.
Indiana - He's Gone
"He's gone and nothing's gonna bring him back"
Coach Hoeppner died before the season, but the players rallied around the new coach and made their first bowl game in a long time.
Iowa - Shakedown Street
"Nothin shakin on Shakedown street
used to be the heart of town"
Didn't the Hawkeyes used to be consistently good? I mean, like recently? What happened?
Michigan - Help On The Way
"Tell me the cost
I can pay
Let me go
Tell me love is not lost"
The Wolverines signed RichRod to a big time contract, and the new era begins. Help is indeed on the way. A very good recruiting class can be made even better if Pryor signs on to lead the offense.
Michigan State - Ship of Fools
"The bottles stand as empty
as they were filled before
Time there was and plenty
but from that cup no more"
Ah, the "golden days" of Spartan football. Duffy Daugherty, where have you gone? The bottles are indeed empty, as Sparty fans drank everything that wasn't nailed down. Depression will do that to you.
Minnesota - Brokedown Palace
"All the birds that were singing
Have flown except you alone"
The Gophers were the only team in the entire conference that was not bowl eligible at the end of the season. Maybe Glen Mason wasn't so bad afterall...
Northwestern - Victim or The Crime
"Am I the driver or the driven"
This line perfectly illustrates the Wildcats team the last 8-10 years. Are they a contender, or are they going to win two games?
Ohio State - Hell In A Bucket
"There may come a day I will dance on your grave
If unable to dance, I will crawl across it"
When The Vest finally gets caught with his hand in the proverbial cookie jar, I'll be happy to dance on his grave.
Penn State - Touch of Grey
"Oh well a Touch Of Grey
Kind of suits you anyway.
That was all I had to say
It's all right."
Come on Joe, quit dying your hair. We all know it has more than a touch of grey. And it's all right.
Purdue - Row Jimmy
"And I say row, Jimmy, row
Gonna get there?
I don't know"
Purdue, despite rowing like crazy, can't seem to rise above the middle of the pack in the Big Ten.
Wisconsin - The Wheel
"The wheel is turning and you can't slow down
You can't let go and you can't hold on"
Every year the Badgers come up with another good running back. The current starter, PJ Hill, is a load who is hard to slow down.
For each of these, I could have gone with any number of songs for each team, but I decided to go with my first instinct. Leave your suggestions in the comments.