Wednesday, April 23, 2008

The Opposite

During the "Matt Millen Era," this time of year (i.e, the annual NFL Draft) for Detroit Lions fans has become pure torture. As The Ghosts so eloquently put it yesterday, it just keeps getting worse. So, the Matt Millen and the Lions should take a page out of the George Costanza playbook - do the opposite:

Draft Day, 2008

Roger Goodell: Wide receiver, right?
Matt Millen: Yeah. No, no, no, wait a minute, I always draft a wide receiver in the first round. Nothing's ever worked out for me with first round wide receivers. I want the complete opposite of a wide receiver. A linebacker. No, a defensive lineman.
Bill Ford: Well, there's no telling what can happen from this.

RG: With the 15th pick the first round, the Detroit Lions select Derrick Harvey, defensive end, Florida.

BF: Ah, Matt, you know, that GM over there just looked at you.
MM: So what? What am I supposed to do?
BF: Go talk to him.
MM: Hey Boss - crappy GMs, with horrible teams, and no successful drafts, who work for the Lions, don't approach good GMs. None of those guys will even return my calls.
BF: Well here's your chance to try the opposite. Instead of wide receivers and being intimidated by good GMs, defensive linemen and going right up to them.
MM: Yeah, I should do the opposite, I should.
BF: If every instinct you have is wrong, then the opposite would have to be right.
MM: Yes, I will do the opposite. I used to sit here and draft wide receivers, and regret it for the rest of the day, so now I will do the opposite, and I will do something.

--- he goes over to the GM

MM: Excuse me, I couldn't help but notice that you were looking in my direction.
Jerry Jones: Oh, yes I was - you just drafted the same exact player we were going to draft. We thought for sure you'd take Manningham.
(MM takes a deep breath )
MM: My name is Matt Millen. I'm a horrible GM and I work for the Lions.
JJ: I'm Jerry Jones. Hi....

And so "The Opposite Era" begins for the Lions. In the same spirit, perhaps Bill Ford can "do the opposite" and finally get rid of Millen. I think Millen would probably prefer to be an architect anyway...

NOTE: KSK has a nice Millen bit up today also.

ANOTHER NOTE: To anyone with any photshop skills, I would love to have a George Costanza "Timeless Art of Seduction" picture with Matt Millen's head in place of George's. Anyone with the time and motivation can send it to me at bill dot tway at kbr dot com.

2 comments:

GMoney said...

Oh, man, that was good. Now does Millen also introduce himself as a marine biologist???

The Big Lebronski said...

Who ARE you Matt Millen?

...I'm the opposite of every GM you've ever met.